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Would you get a Medical Alert Bracelet/Necklace?

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I hated my new house. I hated my new neighborhood. I hated my new life. And I especially HATED Florida, its too hot, and dry, and stupid. Stupid state… no offense…
Anyways, I had escaped the confines of my new “house”, and the clutches of my idiotic, hairbrained mother (Oh she has something in common with the state!! They should get along swimmingly!!) by going for a quick stroll through my new neighborhood. Whoa, that was a difficult thing to say-or type in this case- new neighborhood. New people, new people, new mysteries….
It was unbearably hot outside (note to self: add Heat and summer to the hate list) even in shorts and a t shirt I was still drenched in sweat! How do these old people (oh Im sorry ‘elderly’ people, or if you prefer ‘people of age’, which ever one floats your boat) handle it?? Maybe it’s the wrinkles!! Stupid Florida heat summer crap, why cant it just go away???
Oh ya, back to the walk. Because of a deadly combination of horrendous heat, stupidity, and a “Hay! That’s a good idea” , I decided to take a slight detour off of the grey sidewalk, and onto what appeared to be a well traveled path. Surprisingly, it was dramatically cooler inside the forest than outside on the sidewalk. It seemed so strange, it must be the canopy…
After a couple of minutes of listening to twigs and leaves crack under my feet, I stopped under a large oak tree to examine my new environment. It was then that I relieved that I was being followed.
As I sat within the oaks shade, I heard movement. The rustling of bushes and that stuff, the usual. I stood up alert, like a Meerkat (are Meerkats even cats?? I must add that to the ‘look up on google but not yahoo, it doesn’t deserve the honor of being on my computer screen’list), scanning the bushes for any sign of danger.
About then is when the man emerged.
He was tall maybe 6 ft, husky, and with reddish hair. He wore a muscle shirt and jeans, which made him look slightly like a big bad tough biker. Which he would have pulled off, except for his little happy gingerbread man tattoo on his forearm. He walked toward me. The thought of running did come to mind, but it was accompanied by his friend “ I was here first! Get your own cool down shade spot!!!” Which of course I didn’t want to say, simply because he looked like he could crush me into a bloody pulp, which would completely ruin my afternoon.
“You need to get out of this place, it isn’t safe,” He said, his voice was deep and all that junk, “Come with me if you want to live!”
A terminator line, nice…… not really…..
“ Umm two things. I am not coming with you! And two, who are you?”
“You must leave this realm! If he catches you here-”
“If who catches me here?” This was getting sorta weird….
“ The Humonid!! He will find you and steal your magic essence with his tongue!! Follow me and I will protect you!”
“ For one that is extremely gross. And two: I don’t know who you are or what nut house you escaped from, but Im going to head back to my house, and call the nice people in white suites with the big needles to come and pick you up. Ok, sound like a plan?” I began to leave the area, abandoning my self claimed tree, in the direction of my home, where I planned never to speak off this nutjob.
“Don’t leave without me! I must protect you,” he yelled to me, trying to run back to me, “The Humonid will devour your essence!!”
“ Umm thanks for the help, but I think I will take my chances with the hemroid”
“The Humonid!! Let me at least walk you to the line!”
“ No thanks Im good! Just go back to your Nut Hut!”
I didn’t look back, but the silence behind me told me that he had given up all hope of ‘protecting’ me. Pedophile.
Anyways, I continued my walk back to the sidewalk. I was almost there when I heard a crack behind me.
“ Okay dude, Im serious, you don’t need to follow me! Im a white belt and Im not afraid to go all Asian fighting style thingy on you!” By this time I had turned fully around to face something that wasn’t the biker guy.
In front of me was a leopard tiger zebra hippo mix. The head of a lion, the body of a leopard, completely covered with black and white zebra strips, and the, how do I put this, rump of a hippo. It was some strange African freak of nature.
“Oh hello there, you must be this hemroid that I’ve been hearing so much about!” I have no idea why I had said that. I mean I wasn’t scared or anything, I was just a little shocked.
“ I am Humonid, hunter of the magical! I have come for you essence!” he roared.
“Oh how lovely! You talk! Well then, I must inform you that Ive given my magical whossamawhat to some other African animal. Im sorry, but your to late.”
“Don’t toy with me, boy! I can smell your essence! It is strong, which must be w

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I hated my new house. I hated my new neighborhood. I hated my new life. And I especially HATED Florida, its too hot, and dry, and stupid. Stupid state… no offense…
Anyways, I had escaped the confines of my new “house”, and the clutches of my idiotic, hairbrained mother (Oh she has something in common with the state!! They should get along swimmingly!!) by going for a quick stroll through my new neighborhood. Whoa, that was a difficult thing to say-or type in this case- new neighborhood. New people, new people, new mysteries….
It was unbearably hot outside (note to self: add Heat and summer to the hate list) even in shorts and a t shirt I was still drenched in sweat! How do these old people (oh Im sorry ‘elderly’ people, or if you prefer ‘people of age’, which ever one floats your boat) handle it?? Maybe it’s the wrinkles!! Stupid Florida heat summer crap, why cant it just go away???
Oh ya, back to the walk. Because of a deadly combination of horrendous heat, stupidity, and a “Hay! That’s a good idea” , I decided to take a slight detour off of the grey sidewalk, and onto what appeared to be a well traveled path. Surprisingly, it was dramatically cooler inside the forest than outside on the sidewalk. It seemed so strange, it must be the canopy…
After a couple of minutes of listening to twigs and leaves crack under my feet, I stopped under a large oak tree to examine my new environment. It was then that I relieved that I was being followed.
As I sat within the oaks shade, I heard movement. The rustling of bushes and that stuff, the usual. I stood up alert, like a Meerkat (are Meerkats even cats?? I must add that to the ‘look up on google but not yahoo, it doesn’t deserve the honor of being on my computer screen’list), scanning the bushes for any sign of danger.
About then is when the man emerged.
He was tall maybe 6 ft, husky, and with reddish hair. He wore a muscle shirt and jeans, which made him look slightly like a big bad tough biker. Which he would have pulled off, except for his little happy gingerbread man tattoo on his forearm. He walked toward me. The thought of running did come to mind, but it was accompanied by his friend “ I was here first! Get your own cool down shade spot!!!” Which of course I didn’t want to say, simply because he looked like he could crush me into a bloody pulp, which would completely ruin my afternoon.
“You need to get out of this place, it isn’t safe,” He said, his voice was deep and all that junk, “Come with me if you want to live!”
A terminator line, nice…… not really…..
“ Umm two things. I am not coming with you! And two, who are you?”
“You must leave this realm! If he catches you here-”
“If who catches me here?” This was getting sorta weird….
“ The Humonid!! He will find you and steal your magic essence with his tongue!! Follow me and I will protect you!”
“ For one that is extremely gross. And two: I don’t know who you are or what nut house you escaped from, but Im going to head back to my house, and call the nice people in white suites with the big needles to come and pick you up. Ok, sound like a plan?” I began to leave the area, abandoning my self claimed tree, in the direction of my home, where I planned never to speak off this nutjob.
“Don’t leave without me! I must protect you,” he yelled to me, trying to run back to me, “The Humonid will devour your essence!!”
“ Umm thanks for the help, but I think I will take my chances with the hemroid”
“The Humonid!! Let me at least walk you to the line!”
“ No thanks Im good! Just go back to your Nut Hut!”
I didn’t look back, but the silence behind me told me that he had given up all hope of ‘protecting’ me. Pedophile.
Anyways, I continued my walk back to the sidewalk. I was almost there when I heard a crack behind me.
“ Okay dude, Im serious, you don’t need to follow me! Im a white belt and Im not afraid to go all Asian fighting style thingy on you!” By this time I had turned fully around to face something that wasn’t the biker guy.
In front of me was a leopard tiger zebra hippo mix. The head of a lion, the body of a leopard, completely covered with black and white zebra strips, and the, how do I put this, rump of a hippo. It was some strange African freak of nature.
“Oh hello there, you must be this hemroid that I’ve been hearing so much about!” I have no idea why I had said that. I mean I wasn’t scared or anything, I was just a little shocked.
“ I am Humonid, hunter of the magical! I have come for you essence!” he roared.
“Oh how lovely! You talk! Well then, I must inform you that Ive given my magical whossamawhat to some other African animal. Im sorry, but your to late.”
“Don’t toy with me, boy! I can smell your essence! It is strong, which must be w
o it didnt all go through…so this is like part of chapter 1 its almost to the end though
thank you for the feedback. last time i posted something, not on here but on another website, and people told me to use less details….ill try to rewrite the chapter with my normal detail amount

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The Center for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically. This virus is called Weekly Overload Recreational Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues or anyone else via any means whatsoever – DO NOT TOUCH IT!!! This virus will wipe out your private life entirely. If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises. Take two good friends to the nearest liquor store and purchase one or both of the antidotes – Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE) and Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system. You should immediately forward this medical alert to five friends. If you do not have five friends, you have already been

infected and WORK is controlling ur Life!

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