Parents, can you help a desperate teenager? I need help.?
OK, well i’m 17 and at the point in my life when I have to figure out what I want to do with my life. I’m technically a senior high school, but I’m dual-enrolling full time at the community college (been homeschooled since Kindergarten, dual-enrolled since the 10th grade). I’m working on my 2 year A.A. General Transfer degree. After I get that here, I want to transfer to a 4 year university to get my Bachelors in something. The thing is, i don’t know what to get it in. I like math, so I was thinking accounting, but my dad says "you don’t want a desk job, too boring, doesn’t pay much" (he majored in accounting). i’m taking intro to Psychology now and I’m at the top of my class, it’s interesting and I like it, but dad says "you would have to get your Masters in it and then get a teaching job, not many other choices for that, but it would make a good minor". he thinks i should go to a tech school (like my older brother and sister who are now in tech schools becoming a fire fighter/EMT – bro and LPN – sis), or go into a profession like Physical Therapy (pays great) or something media related (many job openings). also going into the Air Force is something he’s wanted all 3 of his kids to do.
i mean what do i do? the only thing i really want to be in life is a wife and mother (which is when he mentioned Southeastern University "bridal college". we personally know over 20 people who have gone there and came home with a wife/husband).
so i’m kinda at a loss here. i want some kind of degree but don’t really know why or how I’ll use it. and i don’t want to go to college just to get married.
other people have told me "you’ve got time to figure it out", my parents tell me "they aren’t the ones paying for your education you need to figure it out and soon"
HELP
Kamran, why are you posting the same thing on every question you answer?
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If you like Psychology and are doing well in it you shouldn’t let your dad influence you so much. He needs to realize that all three of his children are different people, with different interest. You don’t want want to be stuck in a career that you hate, at least with psychology you could be a social worker, a teacher, a child advocate, there is a lot of things you could become. follow your heart and your head and stop letting dad control your every move he needs to let you grow up.
December 5th, 2009 at 7:10 amwhy don’t you look for it on google search
December 5th, 2009 at 7:10 amI think you have it all figured out and I think its wonderful you know what you want in life. When i was your age my dad sounded just like yours don’t listen do what you know is right for you. A wife and mother is the most rewarding occupation in the world and bridal college sounds like a winner to me, good luck.
December 5th, 2009 at 7:10 amtake a career gidance test:
December 5th, 2009 at 7:10 amhttp://www.questcareer.com/career_assessment_resources.html
even if you just want to be a wife and mother, you should also have a back up plan. a degree is priceless. it’s security for you and your future children.
Yes get your degree, even if all you want to be is a Mother. I didn’t and felt the same as you I just wanted to be a wife and Mother, well I got married and started having children and my now ex husband ended up with severe bi polar disease and we divorced. I was 23 with three kids and no good way to support them! I wish I would have gone to college first so I would have had a way to support my family properly. I did manage to find a way, but it was cleaning houses for 14 years! Don’t put yourself in the same position, get your degree so if you do havve to support your family you can, without doing a job you hate! Nursing is something you can take with you no matter where you live and you could be a school nurse so you have the summers off with your children. Just a thought. Best wishes to you finding just the right thing for you!
December 5th, 2009 at 7:10 amdefinitely get a degree whether you use it at this time or not. You never know what the future will hold.
Out of personal experience I too just wanted to be a wife and mother. After being married for 2 years and no child I got bored so I went to school got a degree and worked until finally I was pregnant. After being a stay at home mom for a short time, I was burnt out and needed more in my life, thank goodness I got my degree. Now 2 kids later and divorced I have to work.
Its harder to go back to school after your older and have kids than it would be for you to do after high school.
you sound smart and should be proud of yourself for all you do, don’t limit yourself to just one aspect of your life. Live you life to the fullest potential.
December 5th, 2009 at 7:10 amWell, ultimately, you need to research all of your career options, and go with something that sounds like a job you would love to have, even years from now. Don’t do something just because your parents want you to. You sound like a smart young lady, and I’m sure you will do great in whatever you choose. That said, I think you do have plenty of time to decide, because you still need to get a basic education before you pick a major. Tell your parents to relax and let you decide.
December 5th, 2009 at 7:10 amI’m also homeschooled and I completely understand wanting to please parents, but you have to understand that while he is your father, this is not his life. It’s yours, and it’s your choice what you want to do. Not that you shouldn’t listen to his suggestions, but it is your choice. I highly recommend that you get your bachelors, even if you don’t want a full time job, it’s a wonderful tool to fall back on, if something ever happened and you had to go work a full time job. Teaching is a great tool to have, as a women, it wouldn’t be too difficult to find a job teaching, but it really is just what you want to do. Figure out what could help you with a family, or at a job, and do what you want to do. Having a highly practical, well paid job isn’t as important to women who just want a family. Wishing you the best of luck!
December 5th, 2009 at 7:10 amIt’s wonderful you are thinking so much about your future. It sounds like you have some good things going. Not everyone knows what they will major in when they enter college. The main thing is to start and you might find an interest you never thought of before. Since what you really want to do is be a wife and mother, maybe go to school for something in early childhood and or cooking. This way you may find a career in those fields, but at the same time will be gaining skills for what you really want to do. Either way you win and you are still getting that very important education.
December 5th, 2009 at 7:10 amgeeze I can’t stand it when parents put pressure on their kids to figure out what their life is going to be about at such a young age…there are plenty of people in their 40’s that don’t know what they want to do with the rest of their life! Your dad especially needs to back the f*** off. Sounds like the only thing he would be happy with is if you follow your siblings’ footsteps. (every other suggestion your father is like ‘oh but this and that’) This is NOT your fathers life, this is YOUR life. If he wants to play the ‘well i’m paying for it’ game then i have to say he’s not a very good parent. A good parent would support their child no matter what they chose as long as they are good, hardworking people going for their dreams. You don’t know what that is yet, that is perfectly and completely fine and don’t let your parents (sounds like your dad more than anyone) ever let you think differently. You DO have plenty of time to figure it out no matter who is paying for it. Like I said there are plenty of grown men and women who have accomplished a lot that don’t know what they want to do for the rest of their lives. If you have to, pay for your own education yourself and then they won’t be able to say a word about what you choose. It’s a very small percentage of people your age that know what they want to do. You’re growing up, it’s time to start standing up to your parents.
December 5th, 2009 at 7:10 amYes, you do have a lot of time to decide, but I would still continue with your plan to attend a 4 year college. You can actually do a lot with a Psychology degree and also remember that you can minor in something as well. No matter what field you go into you will deal with some type of math. Have you thought about going into a health care field? You could do a lot with a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology. You could work for an MRDD provider, a mental health agency with adults or children, you could work for a mental health ward in a hospital, you could possibly work in a psychology office. Just do some research online. You may find what you are looking for and remember, you can change your major and minor to suit your new interests. Also consider working once you receive your Associate’s. Some on the job experience will look good on your resume and it may also allow you to explore your interests. Good luck!!!
December 5th, 2009 at 7:10 amTo start with, you sound like an amazing teen and any parent would be proud to have you. You have the enviable position of being good at many things. This makes choosing difficult. I think one of the important things is to look at your long term goals. There is nothing wrong with being a wife and mother. One thing that may be helpful is to have a career that caters to that. Is there something flexible so that if your family needs the extra money you can either work from home or do consulting work where you set your own hours? Accounting is a profession that can provide this sort of flexibility. Your father wants
December 5th, 2009 at 7:10 amyou to be able to care for yourself. You may have years to look after yourself without a husband or if, go forbid, something happens to your future husband, you may have to provide for the family yourself.
Take into account the ability to provide, the flexibility that will be needed for your chosen lifestyle and go from there.
My long term advice is to give yourself a few years to test yourself and see what it is to look after yourself before jumping into marriage and parenting. I’m an at home mom. The best thing I ever did was live on my own, finish school and have a career before marriage. I know what I’m capable of and am content doing the important job of raising my son. If you don’t try you may wonder for the rest of your life, what you were capable of. This can cause insecurities that can be a problem for your marriage and self worth.
Our calling in life is not usually one thing. You may be called to different roles at different times in your life. Be at peace.
You have a great life ahead.
you need to listen to your dad. he really does know his stuff. by the way accounting is boring and dont pay good to start off with. i hated it. now i am in a manual labor job and yes, i do enjoy it. the older you get the more you will want a little veriety and to move around a little bit. i make about 24.00 an hour, do government work so my job is stable. i would think of drafting. or perhaps surveying. trust me with all the homes being lost and bought you got alot of surveying going on. i say dont stress about it. and do as your dad askes for now for the major and minor becouse you are at a lost. at least you will be doing something. now about the airforce. its really up to you. i was army for 7 years. at least try to go officer. the pay is better and the living conditions are better to. plus they will be for higher learning for officers before enlisted. officer would be a sweet job if you do decied to do the military period.
December 5th, 2009 at 7:10 ami don’t know what your dad does for a living…but most people with accounting degrees make HUGE money. yes your job will be hecka boring, which is why a lot of people don’t go into it, but still if you’re good at math and could handle a boring job, do accounting.
psychology makes good money too but it’s true you need at least a masters to get a good job in it.
the air force i think would be a great idea! i think joining the military would be so cool. (i can’t because i’m gay and don’t agree with the don’t ask don’t tell shit)
don’t go to a technical school…you already started working on your degree so you might as well finish it.
also try talking to a counselor. your school might even have seminars or things to help you choose a major.
December 5th, 2009 at 7:10 amFirst of all, stop listening to your Dad. You need to do something that you have a passion for. You are the one that is going to be doing it, not your dad. He means well but this is your life. If you want to be a wife and mother, there is nothing wrong with that. That is the best job in the world. You are only 17 and have plenty of time to work before you start a family.
December 5th, 2009 at 7:10 amOk I have to start with this, I am a USAF veteran, just go ahead and nix that idea. Honestly, if I had the opportunity to go to college and get a degree, I would have never went in. If you waited till you got a bachelors degree, you will probably still be taking a pay cut, unless you are tried and true, bleed red white and blue, I wouldnt do it. AND with the war, you WILL deploy, its not an IF, its a WHEN. The USAF is not like it used to be, it is more like the Army than ever before.
Ok now on to the schooling thing… I was an accounting major. It was definitely not my cup of tea. It is very boring and nothing that I would want to do for the rest of my life. I thought about going from accounting major to economics major (I found that very interesting.) But accountants do make pretty decent money, the higher degree you have, of course the more money you make but there is such a huge growth opportunity.
As far as psychology, you really do need a masters degree to put it to use. But you wouldn’t need to use it for teaching, I think you need a Ph.d to teach actually. You would be able to practice psychology. Another alternative to psychology that is along the same lines is a masters in social work. It is more of a hands on type of counseling. You can do everything from counseling to working for child protective services with a M.S.W. (*I* would go for social work over psychology myself, but that is a personal choice.)
If you want to be a nurse, don’t waste you time in LPN school if you have the time and resources to go to college, go straight for BSN (R.N.)
Just a thought, but maybe since you like the whole domestic scene (the wife and mom part) what about being a home economics or kindergarden teacher? OR go for the M.S.W. and work for CPS helping children.
I have no idea what this "bridal college" is, but I would focus on YOU right now. I know this is going to sound super feminist, but don’t make it so you have to rely on a man (or anyone else for that matter) to live. You can have a degree and still be the stay at home mom and wife. But god forbid that it doesn’t work out like that and after 10 years of marriage it falls apart and your husband just up’s and leave’s, and you are left with 2 kids, no husband and no degree. Yes its possible to live with out a degree, but that little piece of paper makes things alot easier financially. I hope I helped you some how, or at least gave you some food for thought… good luck.
December 5th, 2009 at 7:10 amYour Dad is wrong about psychology.
I am a psychology major, currently in undergrad but planning on getting my Masters. You can do more than just teach- I’m going to be a conseling psychologist. They get paid pretty decent, and besides its my dream job
If that’s what you like then you should go for it. Heck, you could even go to medical school and get a Ph D, become a psychiatrist and get rich!
haha, lets see, you could go into school conseling, become a clinical psychologist (working with mental illnesses, like bipolar disorder, etc.), research psychology…. theres a lot you can do.
Just do what you love! I actually have fun in my psych classes, they are really interesting. So persue it!!! Take it from someone expierencing it.
December 5th, 2009 at 7:10 amok, I’m not a parent yet, but certainly have that dream. I have also went to school and have my bachelors in psychology. I was pursuing a masters degree as well as honestly, your father is right. To make a decent living, you will need a masters at least if you go in that direction. Unfortunately for me, things happened where I needed to withdraw from the grad program I was in. I’ve been doing the job hunting as I support myself and have a house, house bills, and car to pay for. I looked in ways that I could use my degree, ultimately though, I’m not trying to go in that direction as the pay is definitely not there. I’ve done my research and job hunting so have learned this firsthand. Simply keep going the way you’re going. No matter what you get your four year degree in, it shows determination. Your eyes will open further the further you go and you’ll realize where you belong. Have faith!
December 5th, 2009 at 7:10 amIt sounds like you’ve got some decisions to make, not unlike many other students I’ve counseled who are in similar situations.
First of all, before making a decision, you need to answer the question of WHY you want to go to school before you can decide on the WHAT to study or where to go. Here’s why I say that. If you want a to get your bachelors just for your own knowledge and to have a degree, but don’t know exactly what you want to do with it, then go to a liberal arts college and get a bachelor of arts degree. It will be the most well-rounded education you can get, and may also help you to figure out what’s next.
If on the other hand you like a particular subject so much (psychology?) that you can see yourself in that field long term, then go for a more specialized or technical program of study in that field.
If you have no idea what you want to do and really don’t care for school, then take some time off and work. College isn’t the only place to find a husband, although many people do find one there. Just remember, this is an exciting time in your life, so take advantage of it. You have more freedom with less responsibility now, and this is probably the only time in your life where that will be the case.
There’s a good book that just came out called “Crush it” and it talks about turning your passions into profits.
Hope these suggestions helped a little bit!
December 7th, 2009 at 12:32 am